Blind dates suck
by Yuuko Uchiha
Summary: Sakura sets Naruto up on a blind date. It's not Naruto's fault both Sasuke's and Sai's name start with an "S". Anyone would have gotten confused in his place, wouldn't they?


This fic was beta'ed by BelleDragon, Cupricanka and Cai. Much thanks to them! Any mistake you see was me screwing it up—some of you might not know English is not my first language, so please, forgive my mistakes but feel free to point them out.

Enjoy!

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><p>.<p>

Naruto hated the smell of cigarettes. He also disliked wearing a suit and definitely wasn't a fan of art galleries. They seemed too posh for Naruto's exuberant behavior, but one of his best friend, Sakura, had bullied him into coming to the new exhibition tonight.

Naruto knew Sakura meant well, but just because she had a new boyfriend didn't mean he needed one, too. Sakura had said she wanted him to meet new people, and it seemed like her only goal in life for the last couple of weeks now had been to "help him." As they had known each other since kindergarten, Sakura clearly thought she had this special privilege to meddle in his life. Naruto agreed that everyone needed to make new friends, especially if they were looking for their significant other. Still, it seemed ludicrous that Sakura deemed it necessary to set him up on a blind date. He was the most out-going person he'd ever known!

Besides, he wasn't looking for anyone. And even if he were, he wouldn't have needed help. That he hadn't dated anyone since Gaara didn't mean anything.

And no, he wasn't in denial! But whatever, he'd come to the exhibition so he would have a great time, make a new friend and get Sakura off his back-all at once.

Naruto didn't feel too optimistic as time went by, though. With this many people around, finding his date in a huge the art gallery seemed impossible! It was a three-story building; each floor a wide space divided just by room organizers. There was a double spiral staircase in the center that Naruto liked and large windows that would allow a lot of sunlight to pass through during the day. From what Naruto could see the exhibition took place on the first two floors. He'd heard someone mention earlier that entire the top floor was a bar.

He didn't know if he should start looking for his date upstairs or wade through the crowd some more. Sakura had said his date had pale skin, black hair, and that his name started with "S," but Naruto had been distracted when Sakura was telling him about it, and God help him if she found out he hadn't bothered to pay full attention to her description. He had the suspicion that the guy might be exhibiting at the gallery tonight but couldn't remember for sure.

After careful consideration, Naruto chose to start looking on the first floor and work his way up. He loosened his tie a little bit, took a glass of wine from a waiter and then decided to walk around. After all, this "S" guy should be looking for him too. With his bright blond hair and blue eyes, he'd be hard to miss. Anyway, Sakura already told his date he would be wearing something orange—which was his tie.

Half an hour later, still nothing! He almost stomped his foot in anger because he hated Abstract Art and now he was stuck there. Abstract art, what the fuck was that? He could only see blue, white and green stripes! And the amount of money they were asking for it? Where they crazy?

"No, idiot," Naruto winced when someone right beside him said. "It's called art."

Naruto would usually be offended by the insult, but he had obviously spoken out loud again. "No, as the saying goes 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,'" he tried to say smoothly, turning around to face this person. "And I think these guys are crazy."

When he caught the sight of dark hair and pale skin, Naruto winced. But just as he thought he'd messed up, and Sakura would not be pleased at all, he noticed that the guy smirked with amusement.

"What do you see?"

"Nothing," Naruto shrugged. "Just lines," he added, following one with his finger.

The man just "tsk'ed" at him and moved closer. Naruto wondered if he had found his date when the raven stopped much closer to him than he really needed to. As he indicated the title of the painting, which said, 'A Peaceful Afternoon,' the guy's chest slightly touched Naruto's shoulder. "Pay attention, you'll see there are clouds in this painting."

His voice sent shivers down Naruto's back. Naruto tilted his head, trying to see and quickly became excited when he began to understand it. If he took the green lines as grass, the blue ones as the sky then the white ones would be some clouds. Maybe he was imagining it? But now that he had the idea in his mind he couldn't shake it off.

Naruto faced his companion again, excited. He liked him already! So when he wandered off towards the next painting Naruto followed him. Said painting consisted of twirls and swirls, half of it in shades of orange and the other half in blues and purples.

"My Lover," he read the title out loud, trying to see anything.

"It's a face," the guy told him after a bit.

"Hey! You are right!" Naruto could see it then: the eyes, the mouth, the contours. "It's not too difficult to see once you point it out." He saw his companion's smug face but decided not to comment on it. "I'm Naruto, by the way."

"Sasuke," he responded, taking the hand Naruto had offered him.

Now that Naruto had a name to go with the looks, he paid more attention to his date. Beyond the pale skin and black hair, this guy was really handsome, and from what Naruto could see, he had a nice ass. They were around the same height, maybe he was an inch taller than Sasuke. He wore a tailored dark gray suit with a navy shirt that fit him perfectly. The smirk Sasuke wore drove Naruto crazy in a pleasant way..

As he licked his lips to moisten them, Naruto realized Sasuke had been checking him out in turn. That made him gain confidence. "See something you like?"

"Yes," Sasuke whispered in his ear. Naruto leaned his head to the side to give his date space. "This painting is pretty good, don't you think?" Sasuke finally said moving along.

For a second Naruto stood speechless, then, he laughed loudly making the people around stare at him. It took him a couple of seconds to finally get himself under control. "You look so serious! Who would have thought you had a sense of humor?" he told Sasuke, hurrying to catch up.

"Idiot."

"Bastard," Naruto said smiling. "Ok, tell me what this is?" Naruto asked Sasuke when they reached the next painting.

Sasuke shrugged and both of them stared at the painting for several minutes. The title read '24' and just had some white lines over a navy canvas. It looked nice, but not nice enough for the price tag in Naruto's opinion.

"I know!" Naruto turned around to face Sasuke "It's a sexual position! See?" Naruto pointed to some lines. "Those are the bodies and the bed".

"You are such an dumbass." Naruto swore Sasuke was trying not to laugh; it made him quite pleased with himself that he could provoke a smile in Sasuke.

Sasuke took a glass of wine from one of the waiters before they made their way towards the next room. Naruto watched Sasuke nod to a couple of people, while keeping his distance and his face blank.

"Do you know them?" Naruto asked, wondering if Sasuke was just being polite or if in fact he did know them.

"They're business associates."

Naruto nodded in acknowledgment. He knew how much it sucked to talk about business when off the clock, especially when out on a date. Naruto also thought Sasuke seemed to be a closed off kind of person. It could be too early to know for sure—after all they had just met—but the way Sasuke's expression went from amused to closed off made him feel he really had Sasuke's attention and interest.

"Do you work in the gallery?" Naruto asked, wanting to know more about him and also because he wondered if Sasuke was indeed exhibiting tonight.

"No," Sasuke responded. "I work in a law firm."

"Oh! A lawyer!"

Sasuke scoffed. "You?"

"I'm in the family business, doing a little bit of everything."

Sasuke nodded. "What kind of business?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Erm…" Naruto scratched his cheek and saw Sasuke raise his eyebrow in question. "Sex shops?"

"Are you telling me or asking me?" Sasuke simply said caught Naruto off guard with his answer. Out of the many reactions people had throughout the years, this was by far the most relaxed one.

"You know I'm serious, right?"

"Well," Sasuke shrugged, "you do seem like a pervert."

"Bastard!" Naruto cried, pointing at Sasuke. "The pervert is my grandfather!"

"It runs in the family, then."

"Of course not!" Naruto stopped. "Well, yes," he said after a moment, "but not like that!" When Naruto saw Sasuke's smirk he knew he was being teased. "You know, it's actually really funny. My grandfather opened his first shop when my dad was five years old, but when he grew up, my dad didn't want anything to do with it, so instead it's my mom who took over and is CEO."

"Do you enjoy working there?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, yeah," Naruto said. "It's hectic most of the time, but it's also fun."

"Now I get why you recognized the sexual position in the painting."

Naruto laughed loudly at that-his excitement building with every word Sasuke spoke. Who would have thought Sakura would choose someone so sexy and bold. Confident men attracted Naruto the most. He hadn't felt chemistry this strong with anyone in a long time, and he could tell Sasuke felt the same way. He wasn't sure why, but Naruto thought Sasuke wouldn't usually invade people's personal space as he was doing right now.

They had been walking around the gallery for quite a while now, and Naruto's stomach rumbled. It had been a few hours since he had eaten. Just as he was going to suggest leaving the gallery and go eat something, he heard someone calling his name.

Naruto turned around. He was startled when he saw someone else with freakishly pale skin and black hair. He had a smile so fake Naruto felt like taking a couple of steps back.

"Naruto?" The guy asked again so Naruto nodded. "I'm glad you could make it." Nothing in his expression suggested that he meant it. "Sakura said you would be here almost an hour ago, though."

Naruto didn't know what to do or say when he saw Sasuke raise an eyebrow in question. Sudden realization hit him like a punch in the stomach. "Your name is…?"

"Sai," the new guy said simply, still wearing that weird smile. Naruto didn't know what to do. He felt really awkward. Sasuke's facial expressions were controlled but Naruto could still read into them, but whenever this Sai spoke Naruto was clueless.

"And you are?" Sasuke asked curtly. Naruto could tell he was annoyed.

"Naruto's date."

"Oh."

Oh indeed. This sucked.

"Your date?" Naruto winced when Sasuke turned to glare at him.

"Yes," Sai interrupted before Naruto could say anything. "A mutual friend set us up."

"Blind date?" Sasuke asked him. Naruto only relaxed when Sasuke's shoulders weren't as tense as before.

Naruto might have been a bit grateful that he didn't have to explain if it wasn't for the person he would have to get rid of. "Yeah, pale skin, black hair and eyes, name starting with an 'S'?" Naruto answered, scratching the nape of his neck.

Sasuke scoffed as if offended that Naruto was pointing out physical similarities. The three of them kept silent. Naruto knew both men were waiting for him to answer, but he wasn't sure how to tell Sai their date was not going to happen. Sasuke clearly was not amused, his arms were crossed and a finger kept tapping his forearm. Sai, on the other hand, still had a smile on his face.

"Let's go, then," Sai declared grabbing his wrist firmly. "There is someone I want to introduce you to. Goodbye," he said to Sasuke, as an afterthought.

"Wait!" Naruto exclaimed but he couldn't break Sai's surprisingly strong grip. He looked back only to see Sasuke uncrossing his arms. Sasuke seemed to mirror the 'what just happened?' reaction that Naruto felt.

Sai didn't let go of Naruto's hand until after they arrived at another exhibition hall. Naruto rubbed his wrist and kept looking towards the door, waiting to see if Sasuke had followed.

After a few minutes of silence on both parts, Naruto grudgingly focused on his companion. "Weren't you going to introduce me to someone?"

"I lied," Sai said plainly "You seemed uncomfortable."

"I can't believe you did that!" Naruto cried loudly, making the people around him move away. "You were so rude to Sasuke!"

"I said goodbye," Sai explained, as if talking to a child. "And we are on a date. A third person is not needed."

Naruto didn't know what to say. It didn't help that he saw in the distance Sasuke walking in and got distracted. A person walking by obstructed his view and he lost sight of Sasuke again.

Naruto's attention went back to Sai when he moved forward to observe a sculpture in the middle of the room. It irritated Naruto greatly that Sai was acting like he expected him to follow, noticing the irony that Sasuke had pretty much acted the same way, but now, when Sai did it, Naruto found it annoying. He grabbed a canapé from a waiter that passed by and ate it angrily.

Naruto normally didn't like to judge people he didn't know, but something seemed really off with this guy but he wasn't able to pinpoint it. He seemed so odd; what the hell was Sakura thinking when she set them up? His expression looked like it had been painted on his face. And he wore black leather pants, a jacket and shirt so short it let everybody see his belly button.

"You know, Sakura said you had agreed to the date." Naruto winced at Sai's words. "But you seem a little bit distracted."

_'Well, it was more like she forced me.'_ Naruto chose not to answer, though. He felt a little guilty for being rude, but he couldn't help it. He was more interested in locating Sasuke than paying attention to the sculptures. Even so, he decided to follow Sai in the meantime.

He ran his right hand through his hair, irritated when he couldn't find Sasuke again. After a while, he could feel eyes on him but there were too many people in the room—it was the largest of the exhibit.

Naruto felt frustrated. He normally didn't need prompted to make conversation, but he already found himself distracted, and every time he tried to talk and get to know Sai a bit—even if only to report back to Sakura—Naruto found it hard to chat with him. Sai was curt and took everything too literally.

Sai confirmed his earlier suspicion that his date might be an artist exhibiting tonight when a couple stopped Sai to talk to him about one of his paintings. Relieved Sai's attention was elsewhere, Naruto felt free to stop paying attention to their conversation after being ignored for a couple of minutes.

"You seem too busy Sai," Naruto said after the couple left. "I think it would be better if I left you on your own."

"It's okay," Sai said. "You can come with me."

"Don't worry,"—Naruto put both hands in front of him—"we can—"

"I insist," Sai interrupted him. "A date is supposed to last more than an hour."

Naruto hung his head dejectedly over the strange answer. Who said a date should last more than an hour? He knew it made sense, but that seemed like Sai had taken it right out of a book.

"Yes, I know but I have been here for over an hour," Naruto said, wincing dramatically to empathize his point. "I have to go."

"Oh," Sai sounded truly disappointed. It made Naruto wince for real.

"But you know, maybe we can catch up later?" Naruto said, prompted by guilt. "But just as friends!" He clarified. "Nothing more."

"Friends," Sai said. "That sounds good." For the first time Sai's face showed a real smile.

"Bye," Naruto called back, not knowing if Sai had heard because someone had come to congratulate him. He decided to take the opportunity and disappear.

And now, to find Sasuke. He walked away from Sai, and just when he was about to walk into another hall, a hand shot out to grab his wrist and pulled him towards a room divider in the main gallery. Sasuke's cologne reached Naruto's nose, and he inhaled deeply. He hadn't been aware how much he liked Sasuke's scent until now.

"Get rid of him," Sasuke demanded.

"I already told him I'm leaving," Naruto said, making Sasuke smirk.

"Naruto?"

Naruto pulled Sasuke back to the room divider now hiding them from view when he heard Sai calling for him to his right.

"I thought you already said you were leaving?" Sasuke asked, confused.

"Yes, but maybe he saw I stuck around!" Naruto explained in half-hysterics "Let's go!" He grabbed Sasuke's wrist and guided him through the room towards the exit.

Halfway through, Sasuke dragged him the other way and stood there for a moment. "What?" Naruto asked, trying to see if Sai was around.

"It's my brother," Sasuke answered.

"Oh, I see." But he didn't really see. Naruto looked around, trying to spot someone who looked like Sasuke. "Don't you want to say hi?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Don't you get along with him?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"It's not that," Sasuke explained. "He won't let us leave if he sees us."

After a few moments, Sasuke pulled him towards the exit. But Naruto saw that Sai had joined a group of people talking right on their path, so he halted them again. This time, they ended up hiding behind a grey sculpture.

"You don't look like the type who'd run." Sasuke stated.

"I just realized I hadn't thought of asking him not to say anything to Sakura," Naruto almost whispered ignoring Sasuke's comment. "She's scary."

"Afraid of a girl?" Sasuke teased.

"You say that because you don't know her," Naruto explained.

"Shit."

"What?" Naruto asked, looking swiftly around.

"My brother, he saw us," Sasuke said, gesturing with his head towards someone.

When Naruto saw a man walking towards them, he clearly saw the resemblance to Sasuke, and even though his brother was taller and his hair was longer, they had the same bone structure and facial features. With Sai in the way to the exit and Sasuke's brother at their left Naruto realized they were trapped unless they went to the second floor but there was no point in doing that if they wanted to leave, not unless… unless they used the emergency door.

Determined, Naruto took Sasuke's hand and began to walk quickly towards the emergency door. He felt Sasuke hesitate when he realized where they were headed.

"Don't!" Sasuke ordered, but he still he followed Naruto.

Walking briskly, Naruto pushed the door's lever. He winced when the alarm began to shriek.

Naruto saw out of the corner of his eye as some people jumped, startled and along with the alarm. He heard some glass breaking inside the gallery. "Run!" he yelled over the noise and followed Sasuke when he did as instructed. Naruto felt exhilarated and began to laugh loudly; they ran out of breath after a couple of blocks and without saying anything, they both stopped.

"Itachi is going to kill me," Sasuke stopped, catching his breath. "He was the one who organized the exhibit; if the firefighters have to come to turn off the alarm, he is going to skin me alive."

Naruto's eyes widened at the news and stopped moving his hand still on his knee as he bent over. Sasuke dismissed his worries with a hand gesture.

"What do you want to do?" Sasuke asked him and Naruto smiled. Sasuke was acting as if they hadn't been interrupted by Sai and hadn't disrupted the exhibit by leaving through the emergency exit, causing a ruckus at his brother's event.

"How about some ramen?"

Sasuke shrugged and began to walk toward the main street. Naruto was caught by surprise when a headlight hit Sasuke on the side of his face, sharpening his features. His hands were inside the pockets of his jacket and what Naruto really liked was the small smile adorning his face. Naruto was attracted to him for sure but there was something about Sasuke that made feeling such attraction simple and easy.

"Sasuke," Naruto called before he crossed the street.

"What?" Sasuke said, turning around.

Naruto walked closer and gently pushed Sasuke towards the post of a street lamp. His right hand caressed Sasuke's cheek and finally burrowed itself in his black hair. Naruto didn't waste time in explanations and simply kissed Sasuke. He could tell he caught Sasuke by surprise because it took him a few moments to kiss back. Sasuke then placed his hands on Naruto's lower back and pulled him closer.

The kiss itself felt electrifying—a mix of lips, tongue and breaths exchanged between small sucks and bites that drove Naruto crazy thinking what sex with Sasuke would be like. For a second their groins came in contact. Naruto moaned loudly into the kiss; he could have kissed Sasuke for hours, but he was getting an erection so regretfully, he slowly ended it. He was glad he was not the only one affected when he saw Sasuke's glazed eyes and that a small blush covered his cheeks.

"Let's go!" Naruto said, smiling at Sasuke. "I'm starving."

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Naruto jumped in his seat when Sakura sat in front of him all of a sudden. He was glad his tea was halfway finished, otherwise he might have burnt himself. He was in a coffee shop he and his friends frequented, so it wasn't unusual for them to run into each other.

"Hey doll, what's up?" He said, smiling at Sakura. He also waved his hand when he saw her boyfriend ordering their drinks.

His smiled faltered when Sakura, instead of answering, just stared at him. "What?" he asked nervously.

"I went to a lot of trouble to get you that date with Sai, Naruto," she suddenly said.

"Here we go," Naruto groaned, placing his forehead on the palm of his hand.

"And this is how you repay me," Sakura ignored his outburst. "By ditching him right away! No one appreciates my efforts, no one! I feel so ignored!"

Naruto knew Sakura was acting dramatic on purpose—it still made him want to make everything alright for her, though. "Seriously Sakura? That guy Sai?" he asked, his face all scrunched up. "I told him jokingly to "get out" and he told me in all seriousness he couldn't because he needed to stay for the exhibition like he thought I literally meant for him to 'get out'" He said, exasperated, remembering that detail "I have no idea why you thought we would be a good match. Where did you get the idea, anyway?"

"Ino," Sakura said, finally acting normal. "She was the one to suggest the date, actually."

Naruto couldn't avoid rolling his eyes as everything made sense for him now. "And what did he tell you, anyway?"

"He just said you had to leave really quickly," Sakura said. "But he couldn't have been so bad!" She said defensively. "You just weren't even trying."

"Hey! Stop it!" Naruto said, irritated. "And besides, I met someone at the gallery."

"Yeah, right," Sakura's tone of voice denoting that she didn't believe him at all. "And you were just sitting here and waiting for him when I found you."

Naruto's eyes were distracted when the door's bell rang and Sasuke entered the shop. "In fact, yes," Naruto raised his hand to wave. "Sasuke!" He shouted making Sakura turn around towards the door.

Naruto observed how Sasuke made his way towards them, Lee arriving to the table just a minute before.

"You're late!" Naruto told Sasuke.

"What about the text message I sent you?" Sasuke answered while Lee gave Sakura her drink.

"I know, I was just bugging you," Naruto smiled at him, not noticing Sakura's surprised expression. "Sasuke," Naruto began, "this is Lee," he said nodding towards Sakura's boyfriend. "And this is Sakura."

"Sakura, your friend?" Sasuke responded after shaking Lee's hand.

"Yep," Naruto said, smiling.

"What? Why do you know my name?" Sakura asked Sasuke. "Naruto! What did you tell him about me?"

"Nothing much," Naruto answered before Sasuke could say anything. "Only that you were the one who set me up with a dark haired man with pale skin and a name that began with "S."

Sakura looked at him, puzzled, and then she stared at Sasuke. Once she realized he had just described Sasuke, she nodded in understanding. "You are an idiot Naruto," she said smiling.

"See, I'm not the only one to think so," Sasuke smirked.

"Shut up!" Naruto laughed.

"Don't you want to join us?" Lee asked. He didn't know what was happening, but he smiled at Sasuke who was still standing there.

"Sorry," Naruto answered, standing up as well. "We have plans and have to run."

"Nice meeting you," Sasuke said as goodbye, Naruto wasn't so sure he meant it.

"You are an ass sometimes, you know?" Naruto laughed walking next to Sasuke towards the exit, waving at his friends through the window when they walked by.

"She wasn't as bad as you told me," Sasuke said offhandedly.

"I think she liked you," Naruto answered pensively, Sasuke just shrugged. "No, I mean it, she let us go for now, so you should expect an interrogatory next time." He empathized, laughing again when Sasuke's eyes widened. "I can't wait until I introduce you to the gang. It's going to be a blast!"

"Can't wait," Sasuke quipped sarcastically.

"I should thank her, though," Sasuke leaned his head to show he was listening. "After all, I got my black haired man with pale skin and name that begins with an 'S'."

Sasuke smiled at the rehearsed sentence Naruto kept repeating.

"And you thought blind dates sucked," Sasuke said after offering his hand to Naruto.

"Good thing you were there to prove me wrong."

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><p>.<p>

This fic was written for the "Readers appreciation project" over y!gallery. So I show you my appreciation by writing the most awkward Sasuke evaaaa… and this smutless thing! .:hides in shame:.  
>The smutless thing was a request from Ras so I have that as an alibi!<p>

I feel so damn rusty! It's been almost a year since I posted anything. I like this-at moments-but I'm ashamed to admit this sounded way better in my head. Hopefully you didn't think it sucked XD

Reviews are deeply appreciated! :D


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